The Pencil Case - Handling Frustration 8 July 2011

Marte Meo | Marte Meo Method | Maria Aarts | Developmental psychology

[July, 2011] The other day I got a mail from a mother I often meet having some new clips concerning new developments by which I'm able to give her new work points.
Last time I explained to her how to help Jes (a five year old autistic boy) about dealing with his feelings of frustration, instead of trying to prevent him from getting frustrated.
The mother wrote me:

     Dear Maria,
The other day Jes got upset, because his sister got some pencils out of a drawer he usually uses to do some colouring for her homework. I tried to calm down Jes by telling him it's okay, but Jes gots more and more upset, which is not unusual; he gots angry as well as sad. So I remembered to name Jes's feelings and not try to reason with him and took him to another room for a cuddle, saying:
»Oh Jesse, you're feeling very sad and cross. You're really upset because you don't want your sister to use the pencils.«

And I kept naming Jes's feelings until he stopped crying and sobbing, then lifting up the social information by letting him know why his sister used the pencils. When Jes settled, I said to him:
»Jesse, the pencils will still be there for you when you need them.«

Jesse then quickly ran off. I was thinking, where is he going? I haven't finished cuddling yet.
Jes came straight back with the pencil case in his hand and said:
»Mum, Jesse's sorry. She can use the pencils too.«

     Kind regards, […]

For further information, mail to MARIA AARTS,

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